Fun Friday: Guess the Smartypants Lyric

Our best ideas happen in IM. Carlie & I were chatting about the slogan for the YA Section's traditional sassy buttons for this year's conference, and started using our prodigious vocabularies to smarten up the lyrics of a certain quasi-royal multi-platinum artist's recent hit song .  Next thing we know, we're writing this post.

Post your guesses for the songs & artists in the comments, gentle readers, and please feel free to steal this idea for use in your library.  This would rock the bulletin board in your teen area or outside your school media center.

The lyrics we used our 10-cent words on are a mix of current Top 40, Classic Rock, and one Golden Oldie by a formerly (some might say currently) reigning monarch of the genre.  

1. If you are lacking in financial resources, kindly return your bankrupt posterior to your dwelling place.
2. They attempted to steer me to a place of recovery, but I was disinclined to acquiesce to their request.
3. The lady was quick with her mechanical workings. She paid special attention to the fastidious state of said workings. She happened to be the finest example of feminine pulchritude that I had witnessed to date.
4. Everyone was transfixed by her rear-flattering denim trousers and her footwear. Suddenly, we were all shocked to see her writhing near the floor!
5. Previously,  I was very nervous. I gazed at the floor. I couldn't get my response out correctly after you inquired as to the state of my thoughts. 
6. Please escort me to the sunny metropolis, where the lawns are well cared-for and the female residents are pleasing to the eye.
7. Dear John, I don't feel kindly towards your female companion. I think you might want to consider starting a new relationship.  You know, you might consider me for that post.
8. No entity, none whatsoever (and I really mean that) exists that has the power to interrupt my feelings of adoration regarding your person and self.
9. The supervisor of those held captive by the state hosted a get-together in the taxpayer-funded correctional facility.
10. Assistance! I am in need of a person! Au secours! Only  a very special person will do!  You are well aware that I must have an aide of some kind! Rush to my side!

First to get all 10 (or closest to it) over the weekend wins a free We [Heart] Our Dead Gay Headmaster button in the Hogwarts House colorway of their choice.  CafePress store is coming, promise!